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Monthly Archives: December 2013
Everything is telling me that life will be okay, great even. Or that I’m stupid. Some days it’s a toss up. My tampon wrappers have witty slogans to reassure me that even though I’m bleeding I should go for a … Continue reading
6:00am-Wake up when Maxhole the dog gets on my bed and punches me in the face with his foot. 6:12am-Think about Christmas when I was little and how I couldn’t sleep the night before and now I just want to … Continue reading
It’s Christmas eve. Already. How’d that happen? 12:00pm-Sitting at my desk at work and think “Fuck it.” I’m going home 3 1/2 hours early. No one is at work anyway. 12:13pm- Have second thoughts about going to Safeway. Not … Continue reading
Knock, knock. Who’s There? Health insurance. Health insurance who? Health insurance you ain’t got none.
The cannibalism behind the Safeway in a small California town is still going strong. But the cannibals are experimenting, expanding their little cave behind the Safeway dumpster. My mom’s friend with the drug-scorched brain has informed us that now the … Continue reading
WeBMD: Hey girrrrrl. How you been? Me: I’ve been better. WebMD: What’s going on? Me: Oh just some worry over my health. WebMD: Tell me all about it. I want to hear everything. Me: Well, the other day you told … Continue reading
I work at a place where more often than not you’ll find food almost daily. I’m talking donuts, chips and dip, and candy. You should see this place the day after Halloween. One of my best ever working days I … Continue reading
If I hear one more God damn Bing Crosby Christmas song this place is going up in flames. My co-worker seems incapable of listening to holiday music without it traveling to every area of the library’s basement. I’m going to … Continue reading