Author Archives: jkhughes2

About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.

Max Goes to the Vet

  Max the dog is a mutant. I mean that in the best way possible. His sisters are mutants too. All three of them have health problems, legs that go out. Pixie, the smallest, has cataracts and looks like a … Continue reading

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Cookie Shaming

Special thanks to Gloria for coming up with the term cookie shaming. Sometimes the only reason to go to work is the thought that someone might bring cookies or donuts.  Last week it was maple bars layered with bits of … Continue reading

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The Fiendish Sex Lives of Coworkers

Okay, I don’t really know anything about my coworkers’ sex lives. Thank the Baby Jesus or I’d spend every day trying to put my own eyes out with my pinky.  I just thought it was an eye-catching title.  Besides, none of my … Continue reading

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Don’t Quit Your Day Job

When I was 15 (and younger) I wanted to be a writer.  I told everyone who would listen and many who wouldn’t listen.  Assholes.  I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, from the basement, from the bus stop, from … Continue reading

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Fitted Sheets

I know my mom taught me how to fold fitted sheets.  I my have spaced off (most likely) or was thinking about what I was going to eat next.  Or maybe I was thinking about how she knows how to … Continue reading

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Not Another Hysterectomy Story

Tomorrow morning an Asian man with small hands (and who looks A LOT like Ken Jeong) will be taking out my cervix, uterus, and tubes.  Don’t worry.  He’s a doctor.  Well, he wears a white coat anyway and promised to … Continue reading

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You Say It’s Your Birthday

Today is my 38th birthday.  Well, it was two days ago.  I wrote this blog in a notebook because there was a movie on Netflix I’d seen 5 times and I was in a hurry to watch it for the … Continue reading

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The Fraud

There’s something I want to do but I’m afraid to do it.  I want to apply for a writer’s grant.  The only problem is the one I want to apply for is for real writers.  I’m talking Virginia Woolf and shit.  … Continue reading

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Going Soft

I hated spiders for the longest time.  They were my sworn enemies.  You know the ones I’m talking about: the ones that are the size of a fifty cent piece, big hairy looking butts and legs so long they would … Continue reading

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You’re Horrible

Until last night I never thought about punching a child in the face.  Who am I kidding?  I think about punching people in the face all the time.  It’s not that I’m a violent person.  Wait.  I just admitted to … Continue reading

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