Category Archives: Uncategorized

Don’t Bother Famous People While They’re Drinking

While my mom was in hospice, dying from cancer, my brother and I had a favorite bar we used to frequent after visiting her. I apologize-kinda-but a lot of my blogs end up having my dead mom pop up in … Continue reading

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Cig-regrets (I’ve had a few)

So I did a dumb thing. I did a REALLY stupid thing. I started smoking on and off last February right before my mom died. I’m the child of two smokers and somehow escaped becoming a smoker for 40 years. … Continue reading

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How to Talk to an Orphan

Am I still an orphan even though I’m 41? My Father died a long time ago, no big loss. But I’ll tell you what: my mom died 9 months ago and it destroyed me. It’s still destroying me. She and … Continue reading

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Love is a Chemical Reaction (it’s also a battlefield)

I’m sitting in a tattoo parlor on a Saturday night, glaring at a happy couple across from me draped over one another. The man, young and soft bellied, looks a little nervous like he’s getting his first tattoo. His wife … Continue reading

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Max Goes to the Vet

  Max the dog is a mutant. I mean that in the best way possible. His sisters are mutants too. All three of them have health problems, legs that go out. Pixie, the smallest, has cataracts and looks like a … Continue reading

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Cookie Shaming

Special thanks to Gloria for coming up with the term cookie shaming. Sometimes the only reason to go to work is the thought that someone might bring cookies or donuts.  Last week it was maple bars layered with bits of … Continue reading

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The Fiendish Sex Lives of Coworkers

Okay, I don’t really know anything about my coworkers’ sex lives. Thank the Baby Jesus or I’d spend every day trying to put my own eyes out with my pinky.  I just thought it was an eye-catching title.  Besides, none of my … Continue reading

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Don’t Quit Your Day Job

When I was 15 (and younger) I wanted to be a writer.  I told everyone who would listen and many who wouldn’t listen.  Assholes.  I wanted to shout it from the rooftops, from the basement, from the bus stop, from … Continue reading

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Fitted Sheets

I know my mom taught me how to fold fitted sheets.  I my have spaced off (most likely) or was thinking about what I was going to eat next.  Or maybe I was thinking about how she knows how to … Continue reading

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Not Another Hysterectomy Story

Tomorrow morning an Asian man with small hands (and who looks A LOT like Ken Jeong) will be taking out my cervix, uterus, and tubes.  Don’t worry.  He’s a doctor.  Well, he wears a white coat anyway and promised to … Continue reading

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