“Shit fuck damn baby fart!”
This is what I yelled at the television last week. We got rid of cable because it’s insanely expensive and the bill would be $120 a month but should have been $90 but they tack on all those taxes probably thinking no one would notice.
So we got antenna. It’s not good old rabbit ears that sits on top of the TV. It’s this creepy thing that looks like a stingray taped to the living room window. You’d think that in all these years antenna would have improved. Lies. All lies. So many channels don’t come in. When I was having an epic fit over the antenna not working I was watching Too Close For Comfort, a show I used to watch as a kid. I love TV. I’m a reader but I like having the TV on because it’s like being around people I don’t have to talk to.
So I lost my shit.
Fuck a duck, shit shit shit!
I later apologized to the TV, soothing it by saying “It’s not you. It’s that asshole antenna.”