People You May Know

Do you ever get on Facebook and see that row of pictures that says People You May Know and you look at a particular picture and think “Christ on a crutch!  That guy should have douchebag tattooed on his face because he wrote in his profile that he thinks he’s the greatest thing ever created in the universe.”  Who do I know that would even be acquaintances with this person let alone Facebook friends?

So then I usually spend an hour and a half looking through all the People You May Know, clicking on some and try not to judge my friends for being friends with someone who looks like he might have 30 bodies stashed under his floorboards.  Or someone who looks like her mother spent way too much time telling her daughter she was special.  And that’s why in her profile picture makes her look like a Glamor Shots victim.

Then I spend another two hours searching Facebook for people I went to elementary and middle school with and I can’t picture them with adult faces so I’m squinting at a picture thinking “Is that her?  Whatshername I sat next to in 3rd grade?”

I had to stop when I found my 8th grade teacher.  A few years ago I thought about sending a Facebook friend request to him, the teacher who encouraged me to write and then I remembered he thought I was going to be the next Stephen King because I loved to write.  Close.  I tape the covers of the new Stephen King books that come into the library.  That’s a lie.  My co-worker Kathy tapes the adult fiction.  I tape the kid books about giant bugs and some mouse named Stilton who is some kind of sleuth and the all the Divergent and Twilight books.

It’s not good snooping around on Facebook for people you thought you knew or remembered only to find they’ve grown older than you , done better than you, can handle gluten better than you.

Well shit.

That was depressing.

I’m going to head over to YouTube and watch cats getting so spooked they run into walls.

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About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.
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9 Responses to People You May Know

  1. Steph says:

    I just wrote a post about snooping about on Facebook AND I was wondering today if “Christ on a crutch” was really a saying, or if I just mashed two different ones together and came up with that. So thanks.

    • jkhughes2 says:

      I’ve been saying “Christ on a crutch!” for over 20 years. I didn’t know other people said it because when I get excited or angry I never get sayings right. I either say them backwards or add more words.

  2. Kathy says:

    I thought it was “Christ on a sandwich” because, you know, he brings you sandwiches.

  3. Cassandra says:

    What really freaks me out is when Facebook comes up with people that you actually do know, but there’s no reason Facebook should know that you know them (they’re not connected to any of your other “Facebook Friends”). How do they do that? Stop following me around, Facebook!

  4. Victoria says:

    This is funny. It pisses me off too, when F’d Book recommends people I may know. Like, why? And what do they care? And then I start questioning why I’m even on Facebook.

    What about Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ? That’s the one we know, intimately.

  5. Morguie says:

    Suck-book…sucks you into its vortex and then there is that awkward getaway that one makes…to discover they were trapped in a time-warp…3 days have gone by…wtf? I JUST HATE when I actually “pop by” my page there..I do that for a reason, and that is simply to see if the posts from my blog are there…seems like I got troubles of that kind for some reason…then I see my daughter’s stuff, and my grandkid..then my other friends…sheesh!
    Hey girl…here is a link…check this out…I think you are a natural and I bet you would make great bucks writing for them (cracked.com) http://www.cracked.com/write-for-cracked/

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