Sister Mary Bleeding Skull of the Order of Torture of Small Children

Sister Mary Bleeding Skull of the Order of Torture of Small Children

I was never baptized in the Catholic church. The priest wouldn’t do it because my mom and dad were separated. I spent MANY years convinced I was going to hell because of this. Now I’m convinced I’m going to hell because I’m having such a good time here on earth. And because I say “fuck” all the fucking day. Fuckety-fuck fuck fuck.

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About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.
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6 Responses to Sister Mary Bleeding Skull of the Order of Torture of Small Children

  1. Sunflower says:

    Love her name!! When my folks divorced when I was 5, my (totally non-religious) mom thought it well and good to suddenly start going to the Episcopal church–which lasted a few months. We got baptized, which is to say we all were dressed in velvet dresses for pictures and got Bibles with our names engraved on them as gifts from my father’s Southern Baptist parents . I was terrified of Sunday school because I’d never heard about any of those stories, nor did they make logical sense to me, but all the kids were drawing pictures of these supposed events and reciting scripture to the teacher. Then I found out the priest was actually hitting on my mom the whole time and begging her to go on dates the whole time. I’m not a fan of churches. Or priests. I still have the bible, which I find every time I move from one house to another. I’ve never read it.

    • jkhughes2 says:

      Oh God, I hear you! You lived through Southern Baptism. I bow down to you. I think Bibles make really good doorstops. And those thin pages make good crinkly sounds.

  2. This is hysterical! And the photo is priceless. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Morguie says:

    Lmao! Fuckit, fuckit, fuckit in a bucket! Well I am really worse than both of you…I am one of those “lapsed” Catholics…you know what that means, don’t you? Someone who’s pretty much done as much evil and fuckery (plenty of regular sinning, too) as they could to ensure they’ll never be allowed to receive another Holy Sacrament EVER again…not even the bother of the official excommunication…hell I am not sure, but I am too damned afraid to ask…

    • jkhughes2 says:

      Damn! You win!!! I work with a lot of people who I call “Recovering Catholics” because going to Catholic schools really messed them up. So I’m thinking I may have dodged a bullet. I go to the Church of Sleeping In and Doing Whatever I Want. I figure if I’m going to hell I’ll have to save seats for a lot of other people.

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