You Had One Job to Do

So I went to Rite Aid yesterday because I needed a razor because the one I’ve been using for a year broke when I went to shave my armpits yesterday.  I rarely shave my legs unless it gets too long and it starts to snag when I put my socks on or it gets so long that there’s a danger of a wildfire starting.  Sometimes I think about braiding the hair so it looks like my legs have dreadlocks but that sounds like a LOT of work.  But I do shave my pits.  I’m not from the 1960s.  Or Greece.

So I buy the cheapest blades I could find.  A four pack at $4.49.  Not too bad.  After buying candy and iced coffee I’ll have exactly $14.55 in my checking account.  I feel like such a grown up.  I get into the shower today and what the fuck?  I bought a shitty pack of broken razors.  I’m trying to be a damn lady and shave and somebody in quality control was taking a snooze when my pack went by.  I was about to go on a verbal rant under the shower head, pissed off that I was going to have to buy another pack when I was saving that money for another bag of M&Ms when I looked closer at the razor.

I’d forgotten to take the piece of protective plastic off the razor.


About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.
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7 Responses to You Had One Job to Do

  1. I think I may love you a little. Thanks for the morning giggle!

  2. I’d say “TMI”, but this is too funny haha!!

  3. bethanyah says:

    I think you stole my life. Omg, thank you for assuring my wife and I that we are not the only complete morons out there. And I mean that with love and admiration!

  4. Haha, when I go to the shower, the mold on the roof greets me by my first name

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