Poop

I never thought I’d worry so much about my dog’s poop and pooping habits.  Maxhole the Dog will be a year old in a couple weeks.  My friend who has had dogs all her life tells me “The puppy years are THE WORST.”  Every day I learn something new from this dog.  Some days it’s as profound as a chapter out of Tuesdays With Morrie.  A lot of days it’s “Oh my God you little fucker why did you just shit on the kitchen floor and make uncomfortable eye contact the entire time?”

I worry about the dog’s poop, how many times he goes in a day, what it looks like.  Sometimes there are parts of his stuffed toys in his poop.  One day Mom saw red in his poop and freaked out a little until she realized the red nose from his Mr. Bill toy was missing.  We have conversations almost every day that go like this:

Mom: “Max pooped on the porch this morning.”

Me: “How was it?”

Mom: “Oh, a little soft.  I’ll give him some pumpkin to firm him up.”

Me: “I gave him a sip of my coffee and he may have eaten an M&M that fell on the floor.”

Mom: “He pooped over the moon this morning after I gave him his own piece of toast.”

While Mom and I were talking this morning Max took a shit in the hallway not two feet away from us.  Mom cleaned it up and said “Well, at least it’s firm.”  I turned around to follow Maxhole up the stairs.

Me: “Remember when “firm” meant something else?”

Not really.

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About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.
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2 Responses to Poop

  1. Kathy says:

    My nephew’s dog pooped in our house and he (my nephew) was so embarrassed. I was just “Oh it’s easier to clean up than pee”. There’s something wrong with us dog people.

    • jkhughes2 says:

      I’m always happy when Max poops where there’s tile. I think as dog people we adapt and try to see the sunny side. You pooped in the kitchen? Its okay. I’ll get the bleach.

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