I’m Going to End Up Living in a Van Down By the River

Evidently I make too much money to get assistance with my health care.  You want to know how much money I take home each month?  Just enough that I could afford a soggy cardboard box underneath a bridge.  That’s a bit of exaggeration.  I could afford a soggy cardboard box next to a dead body half buried somewhere in the woods.

I’ve been trying to find affordable health insurance like the rest of America.  I was on the phone this morning with a woman who had her little calculator and was punching numbers into it.  I could hear it along with what I could only guess was her “I’m doing hard math” sigh.  Ends up I make too much money to qualify for help with my insurance.

Say whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

I told her that starting January 1, 12:01am, I’d be going from 40 hours a week to 29 (because my employer felt she had no other option (or just didn’t give a shit) but to drop several of us to shorter hours because she didn’t want to pay benefits).  I asked the woman if she calculated what I actually took home instead of my gross income.  She said they had to follow guidelines and they had to go with gross income.

Yeah.  Pretty gross.

She went on to tell me that there were plans as low as $10 a month.  Why on earth would you not say that first instead of having me go into instant panic mode?  I almost went into full hyperventilation mode thinking I’d have to rob a bank or roll some old people for their pension money to pay for my premium.

I have a broker-which is a fancy name for somebody who knows what’s going on, knows how royally screwed up this whole thing has become and will hold your hand through most of it,  I told her what happened, the phone call from the chipper lady who told me I made too much to qualify for help.  She emailed me back and said some people were using the exchange system to pull off  scams.  Well fuck me.  I can’t win.  I just want insurance that will give me my happy pills that calm me and keep me from going crazy in public.  I’m paranoid enough as it is and now I’m afraid you-don’t-qualify-for-help lady and my broker are in on something together.  They’re going to fleece me for my Bee Gees cd collection and my life size cut out of David Tennant.

So I make too much money to get any help.  I’d like to see this dough I’m rolling in.  Maybe I can upgrade my soggy cardboard box to a crumbling Styrofoam rambler.


About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.
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4 Responses to I’m Going to End Up Living in a Van Down By the River

  1. Victoria says:

    I’m so sorry to hear JK, on all accounts. But the reduction of hours has to be the worst kick. And unfortunately, it’s becoming a most common occurrence. I hear the question, “Are things worse now than ever, or is just because news spreads so quickly, that it seems worse.” I’ve thought about it a lot, since 2008; it’s worse.

    • jkhughes2 says:

      It really is worse. I’ve been working at the same place for almost 17 years and they cut my hours. I’m checking into getting a second job. It’ll be hard to find a second job that works around my other job. I work for the city and if my other job conflicts with my city job the city can fire me. And I pay union dues! It’s a big almost panic attack inducing problem. Thanks for reading and for your thoughts.

      • Victoria says:

        I know I’ve only recently started reading your blog (and enjoy it very much!), but I sincerely hope everything works-out well, and that you find an even better job. Although, I must say, working at a library has always been my idea of a “dream job”. Next best, a bookstore. I can relate to panic attacks too, so take good care. And thanks for the kind welcome.

  2. Well, I guess I discovered one good thing about long-term unemployment. You qualify for Obamacare! I’ll accept that Silver Lining Award now, thank you (but don’t be upset when I sell it on eBay to buy the vegan ice cream that I can no longer afford).

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