Honey, Get Off That Cross. Somebody Needs the Wood

Some people are able to separate their home lives from their work lives.  I admire people who can do that but I don’t have that switch to flip in me.  I don’t blab to my co-workers about my life away from the library.  Okay.  Sometimes I blab.  Okay.  Someties I get diarrhea of the mouth.

But some people take on the role of Asshole Martyr and can make a good day go down hill fast.

Bethany is the only person who ever gets work done.  The weight of the world rests upon her shoulders.  She’s very busy, you know.  Too many dumb people ask her too many dumb questions.  Something wrong with a new printer?  Here.  Read the manual that came with it.  Knock yourself out.

Work is a place to vent and bitch and to make new friends with someone who hates another co-worker as much as you do.  Bethany inserts herself into conversations she’s not invited to.  She stands around, interrupting and talking over people.  You have an aunt dying from cancer?  Bethany’s stepmother had a roll of bandages tucked behind her stomach from when she had her appendix out 60 years ago.  Bethany has to top any story she hears: “Your father has Alzheimers?  My son’s best friend’s mother had dementia and it was just devastating.  For me.”

Bethany forgot to take her anti-bitch pills today (and for pretty much the last 6 months).  My co-worker and I were having a good morning sharing jokes.  We were the only people in the library.  It’s a rare thing to work at a place that will allow you to laugh and have a good time while getting work done.  Poor Bethany had to tell us we were too loud and she couldn’t think.  She doesn’t have an office where she can shut the door. Poor Bethany is the only person who ever gets work done, the only one with deadlines, the one whose position is most important.

Dear Bethany-

Ever hear of headphones? Buy a pair.  Those fuckers are magical.  They drown out the sound of people being happy.

We all have shit going on in our lives.  Don’t be that asshole who thinks that no one has it as bad as you.  You know why Bethany?  Because fuck you, that’s why.


About jkhughes2

I'm fat and I hate my job. Well kinda. Kinda on both of those. I love to read and work in a library where they don't let me read. But as long as I get to be around books I'm happy. I once wanted to be a writer and then realized that I'm too lazy to write a book but not too lazy to write a blog. And blogging is like keeping a journal except my posts are the equivalent of verbal diarrhea. And oh yeah. I have really low self-esteem. I have a dog named Max but I call him Maxhole. He's the first dog I've ever had. I find his daily life way more interesting than mine or most people I know. That's about it. I hate politics and computer books. I secretly wish I was Doctor Who but can't remember if that's "was" or "were." Now that's it.
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